When it comes to talking about anxiety relieving strategies, I always want to start any of my discussions with this intro:
Do you want to turn off the anxiety? Well, accept it.
Indeed, the solution to overcoming anxiety is to look inside without denying nor pretending: only in this way fears and anxieties cease to be an obsession.
Denying fear only serves to strengthen it
“Not bind ourselves head before time” is one of the phrases they used to quell their anxiety or that of those around us. A phrase that wants to help us not to fall, victims of emotions, when maybe there is still hope, and not to begin too early to suffer to arrive in the negative event without forces.
However, some people extreme this attitude: not only they bandage their head before the time, but either during, and sometimes also after!
They tend strongly to deny the evidence when it concerns an important issue or a potentially dramatic event.
Refusing of anxiety is a form of acute anxiety!
“Worrying does not matter,” they say, but this is a double-edged phrase. It is true that having a head full of doubts and questions will not help to find practical solutions, but that does not mean avoiding taking action in a realistic situation that you are experiencing.
If “Don’t worry” becomes “Don’t perceive”, then you’re in trouble.
This reaction of escape from reality is nothing but an extremism of a form of anxiety, which is so strong that it must be denied and replaced by a mask of maturity, wisdom and self-control.
If the denial of the evidence is strong and negative across the board, the effect is that you create a habit to live meaningful moments of life in a somewhat shallow way, thus living into a vicious cycle of anxiety. Anxiety Shift is a good guide for learning how to get over this anxiety cycle.
Perceiving is already a cure
It is like you don’t know “how to” live the states of anxiety, like you could never fully participate to what is happening or be truly “present in the present”.
So it is not a free and informed choice, and this is likely to dig in time a sense of emptiness and inconsistency which can be translated into a reactive depression.
Therefore, it would be desirable to try to stop denying the adverse facts, rather learning to perceive with opened and non-judgmental eyes. If the fear comes, we try to tell ourselves: “That’s my fear, I try not to think of anything else, stay here with her for a while.”
The 15 minutes method is treated in the article about anger control.
Stay with your fear 15 minutes and try to see if it gets better. Maybe initially you will suffer more, but you will learn gradually that this emotion is not be destroyed, but it is a significant part of us.
In a general way, there are three key steps to overcoming anxiety and fears:
- Watching: you do not evolve by denying the evidence but only by interacting with reality and giving to difficulties their name. Label your challenges and you will win upon them. And so it is for the individual: the mask of “no problems” does not solve the problems themselves, so that they accumulate, and you do not receive in a healthy way the context in which you live.
- Appoint: those who deny the evidence often does not call things by their name and tends to replace them with allusions or circumlocution. They banned words such as “anxiety”, “unhappiness”, “depression” or phrases like “not love you anymore” or “I’m flattened”. Each “denier” has its taboo words. Begin to pronounce them when need is a good exercise to start to listen.
- Wait when you admit having a problem, the risk may be to seek immediate drastic and simplistic solutions like “all or nothing”. Instead, you must learn not to give “reactive” answers. If the first step is to listen to the inner life, the second is then wait. Do not rush, or you replace your solutions “brain” to those tailored for you, which your soul can make you discovering them little by little.
Get help from the best resources online
Many readers ask us suggestions about very good resources online that can effectively help people with their methods and that are not expensive.
I will now suggest three of the best programs I’ve ever found online:
- Anxiety Shift: this guide definitely have helped people to improve their situation, I think you should probably give it a try since it is based on a technique that breaks the anxiety cycle.
- Panic Away: Barry Mcdonagh has helped people for over ten years, from top CEO’s and celebrities to soldiers and moms. His work has been used by more than 80.000 people online.
- CBT4Panic: Based on cognitive behavioral therapy, this program is one of the most complete (audio, video, ebooks, worksheets…) and you can get it at a very low price considering the expensive courses present on the web.I strongly suggest to refer to one of these because you will definitely save a lot of money and, more importantly, you will notice big results in very few weeks.